Veganism 102: Think Outside the Asylum

According to a highly anonymous source the holiday season begins with monster-sized sales of Halloween junk food or junk ephemera. It peaks on Super Bowl Sunday to celebrate the nation’s Gross Decadent Product — it’s gross, it’s decadent, it’s a product.

Marketing term of the day: Bold Challenge: the perfect balance between perfidy and truth. Get away with whatever you can, whenever you can, whatever the stretch. Gain advantage. Think bottom line. Think Glengarry Glen Ross.

 

halloween-in-the-nfl
Meat is Violence

Well Bill, let me explain the game of American football. The NFL is life. In college I learned that football programs fund universities. Sports medicine is the sugar that keeps the doctor away. Concussions: a money-making bold challenge for research grant seekers. Research dollars flow to research grant holders. Jobs is jobs is jobs. Now that is a bold challenge. It’s where the smart money gravitates. Live with it.

What to do with all that depleted uranium? Proclaim it a natural resource. Naturally it’s a resource, one discovered by Americans for Americans in America. Does that star-spangled banner still wave?

What’s next? Well, in daydreams I fancy myself a broadcaster working for the sports at Fox.

What inspired that Bill?

Well, I read that math and science is superfluous for science reporters at Fox News (the balanced and the fair). One Fox science reporter majored in wrestling.

And so, my awe-inspiring paucity of sports knowledge qualifies me eminently. Bill Ziegler, sports expert for Fox Sports (or whatever it’s called).

Do I digress, or what?

Veganism is not even recognized in the WordPress dictionary of spellings. It’s simply not in the database. What gives?  That’s my question. Veganism reduces madness on befouled planets. Not a bad idea. Really. Think outside the asylum.

earth_is_the_insane_asylum_for_the_universe_tshirt-p235909680497015860t5hl_400

Vote Big Coal Kentucky! Revive depleted uranium for military vehicles racing through the Middle East. Weapons proudly labelled “Made in the USA” and protected by the Second Amendment.

Mad in the USA.

 

Speaking of the sports metaphor, are they hiring at the white phosphorous plant up in Chemical Valley? The Charleston River flows into the Ohio River. They call it the chemical capital of the world. It’s in West Virginia, where the jobs aren’t. American jobs not already stolen by Indians in India or Indian-giving (tongue-in-cheek) Indians in North America.

Union Carbide once operated a plant in Bhopal India…

Look Bill. Get real and get with the program. ’nuff said?

Hey Bill, aluminum cans are flimsy, not like the steel ones we made right here in these States of the United. But do you know what’s not flimsy: beer cans tempered with depleted uranium. We have a lot of this raw material. It’s a resource, naturally enough.

 

depleted-uranium

The Graduate-level advice in two words: depleted uranium.

Thanks for reading.

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