A Vegan in the Agora

Hello all and each 🙂 Here is yet another post on a theme of vega..

nism from a self-righteous, self-serving wild-eyed V-Gun. Raving screeds spewing from an amino-acid-deprived, protein-starved snot brain…

…n perspective of an agoraphobic in the marketplace (agora is the Greek word for market). I’ve a field trip suggestion — be you agoraphobic or no.

shopper_selecting_meat

Three steps:

  1. Stop by your local übermarket with a weekly grocery list in hand.
  2. Encircle each line item on the list that contains animal-based ingredients: stuffs like meat, egg, dairy, variously mechanically separated body parts. Check product labels if applicable.
  3. Take note of the contents of grocery carts in your vicinity…

and upend any cart that doesn’t meet your approval. Glare threateningly at innocent grocery shoppers — including their youngsters — and arrange a funeral pyre in accordance with Hindu-friendly ceremonies for the dearly departed…

Did you know that junk food is subsidized by the USDA? The lobbies stuffing the rear, front and suit pockets in federal, state and local government offices include small-scale outfits such as Monsanto and Tyson. A merger a year keeps the arrears away.


Source

Did you know that the North Koreans could use a few good fools? Sounds like a place you would find less threatening.

Global warming did not trend until the Industrial Revolution started spewing spent fossil fuels into that thin bubble of air blanketing the Earth. Perhaps there is a deity who could bring around a replacement planet? There is that. I’ve heard somewhere that a reduction in meat-baseless eating could help.

Vegans are at the brunt-end of many jokes, but the jokesters seem to tread a bit nervously these days — we’re still outnumbered 33 to 1, but our numbers are not decreasing.

You need to lighten up a little, Bill. We hope these help:

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

Q: What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
A: We have to stop meating like this.

Q: Why do people kill animals?
A: Fur convenience steak.

There are more where those came from, but just remember: vegans are the joke, Bill.

Source

The animal atop the food chain believes itself ordained to husband lesser sentient creatures to the highest bidder. All other species get to exist at the whim of human appetite and fashion. Is there anything questionable about this?

Thanks for reading.

Hedonic Hyperphagia

Announcing an alliteration to accompany my entry to Club Septuagenarius. Have I mentioned being born on my mother’s birthday: September 17, 1947? Well, I found a clinical word pair to celebrate a new decade — hedonic hyperphagia — eat one and you’ll eat them all. Whether potato chips (or crisps), Oreos®, All Hallows Eve candy: ad nauseam. It literally describes a fulsome moment. I raise my hand to admit something to a jury of my peers.

“My name is Bill and I am an hyperphagic.”

potato-chips-eating-for-pleasure

“Revealing the scientific secrets of why people can’t stop after eating one potato chip” couches that couch-potato moment in an article from Eurekalert.

Here are fifteen words to digest while digesting the last thing you consumed, such as Deep-fried Oreos® breaded with finely crushed chips (the crisp variety).

I know from studied experience that animal-based product may result in hedonic hyperphagia. You might not wish to know that the consumption of humus, not to be confused with hummus, is termed “geophagia.” I once (circa 1970) read an article in the Annals of the Association of American Geographers that earth-eating is associated with a low mineral diet. I also recall that Frank Zappa once warned about eating yellow snow.

Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.

Heather Morgan

As a former loyal-to-a-fault meat and hide consumer I know that items containing meat and meat by-products are based on animalian cells. These cells are comprised of molecules that have a psychoactive effect on an homo sapiens’ brain, “hedonic hyperphagia.”  Detox from such a diet is enervating to the extreme, both painful and discouraging. I had previously gone cold Tofurky® from tobacco and alcohol consumption before abstaining from animal-fare. I admit to the character flaw that accompanies total abstention however. Ambrose Bierce tosses well deserved water on my countenance. It’s called “total abstention.”  🙂

quote-abstainer-n-a-weak-person-who-yields-to-the-temptation-of-denying-himself-a-pleasure-a-total-ambrose-bierce-210924

 

Vegans stand as infuriating reminders that they serve sentient beings to man. Damon Knight wrote the definitive “To Serve Man,” most familiarly associated with its adaptation into a Twilight Zone episode. I wish Rod Serling had kicked smoking. You too?

That introductory pith drawn from the work of Heather Morgan inspires me to join Morgan by paraphrasing her:

Every time you eat or drink the lifeblood of another, you are either feeding nihilism or fighting it.”  — Bill Ziegler

I leave tales of nihilism for a future post.

non.vegan.limbo

 

Here is another envisaged scenario: what would occur were I to show up at a pro-life rally with an enlarged photograph of an aborted calf fetus? It’s surely happened at some rally somewhere. Would one or more protesters counter that there’s a deity-informed difference between the immortal soul of a God-created icon found in a book called Genesis? Who made homo sapiens the boss of other sentient beings? May I beg to differ?

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

I Hear Ear Worms

Gradual hearing loss brings unexpected blessings: I shall name but two:

  1. An inability to overhear the conversations of strangers.
  2. An inability to hear programmed music in übermarkets.

Spongebob's_brain_in_earworm.

Lisa and I will be sitting at a table within earshot of others and I will be enjoying the still of an enveloping bubble — it’s like a meditation garden, monastery or babbling brook: a way around the babbling of maddening Babel. Couldn’t hear it if I squinted my ears.

Cut to the chase, Bill. Your annoying alliteration and meager metaphors test us to the teeth, they crawl into our craw, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet.

Privacy without private spaces. Lisa will burst forth with OMGs and WTFFs and I’ve not a single clue to her consternation nor inspiration. By the bye, we’ll be a 25-year item next year, we’re now able to decipher misstated and unintended word misses and annoying affectations. We also assume the identities of avatars: German moose and Italian owl.

raccoonInvitesOwl

Source

Listen Bill, you are dancing to the tune of thin ice. Life is to be gotten on with, not sallied about in the figments of a forest, feeling the fauna. Get a grip and move on. We sincerely hope you get the help you need. 

Some years ago I packed my ears with sound deadeners to shop without agony. Such is the life of an agoraphobic tree-hugger. When I could hear proper my ear canals became desecrated by ear worms from worn tunes of outrageous decades, looping indefinitely. Gradual hearing loss now permits me to wander the aisles without mulling music lyrics and the likes, dislikes and “likes” of fellow shoppers.

Are you not also one of those annoying people who trundle about with a rücksack on your back, Bill? Do you deny this unfortunate character flaw?

I plead guilty with conviction and with impunity. A backpack permits right and left hands to page-flip a tome, pick up the ultimate stone or dead-head twigs along an arboral path. A pack on the back frees pockets, it supplies the only items necessary for a becoming existence: spare books, blank paper, full pens and what-the-nots.

I live in the land of the frenetic and the home of the Atlanta Braves (Atlanta was once the home of the Cherokee Nation), a left-handed vegan with a name at the tail of the alphabet, a card-carrying member of Jewish Voice for Peace (you do not have to be Judaic to join), a believer in the inalienable rights of all sentient beings and a speaker on the pompetous of love.

I leave this writing moment with a ponder. What reveals the following photograph from Houston Harvey? How might I convey the moment?

cleared.houston.shelves
Source

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

“In Praise of Idleness” and Veganism

40 years ago I read Bertrand Russell’s “In Praise of Idleness,” an essay he published in 1932. The piece was already 40 years old when I got around to reading it — 40 years later I reread this essay, perhaps under visitation of some Jungian synchronicity. Reading it this morning allowed my imagination to stagger — where have I read a better statement on redressing an injustice: the theft of productivity gains? My tentative answer — “nowhere more succinctly.”

First of all : what is work? Work is of two kinds : 
first, altering the position of matter at or near the 
earth’s surface relative to other such matter ; 
second, telling other people to do so. The first kind 
is unpleasant and ill paid; the second is pleasant 
and highly paid. The second kind is capable of 
indefinite extension: there are not only those who 
give orders, but those who give advice as to what 
orders should be given. Usually two opposite kinds 
of advice are given simultaneously by two organized 
bodies of men; this is called politics. The skill 
required for this kind of work is not knowledge of 
the subjects as to which advice is given, but know- 
ledge of the art of persuasive speaking and writing, 
i.e. of advertising.

Source

I’ve alluded to Russell’s essay “Nice People” several times now. Actually it’s becoming a commonplace theme here.

I checked out the marvelously titled “Why I am not a Christian” from a West German library in 1971 Giessen — the librarian was not, not, not in the least amused. Not.

Das ist Blödsinn. Totaler Blödsinn.

how.to.love.and.eat.animals

I took up my practice of living iconoclastically shortly (about ten minutes) after graduating from high school — I’d completed 12 years of mandatory Catholic education and needed to discover why free thinkers were so despised by non-freethinkers.

By my estimation vegans are free thinkers who believe that all sentient beings are fellow free thinkers, Genesis 1:26 notwithstanding. Being a vegan just may qualify you as iconoclast. Hold that thought a moment. I’ll be right back…

Hey, it does qualify you as iconoclast.

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

I am convinced that veganism is the gentlest means for solving the ever unaddressed need for addressing global warming. It might even nip a certain extinction event in the bud: The Anthropocene. Is it possible that 7 billion homo sapiens consuming 70 billion animals (from fur to marrow) annually — a practice sanctioned by most religious institutions — might warrant more than a shrug?

Look here, Bill. Humans are created in the image of their maker. Read Genesis 1:26. ’nuff said.

Today’s bumper sticker suggestion:

Meatism kills. Veganism nourishes.

Was Venus once a lush planet? Are we preparing to become a one such once-lush planet?

My irreverent take on Matt:

11 Give us this day our daily sweetbread. (Matthew 6:11)
sweetbread

Source

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Iconoclasm and Veganarchism

This post is inspired by Peter Schreiner’s word of the day for 16 August 2017:

iconoclastic [ahy-kon-uh-klas-tik] adjective
1. attacking or ignoring cherished beliefs and long-held traditions, etc., as being based on error, superstition, or lack of creativity.
2. breaking or destroying images, especially those set up for religious veneration.

Speaking of Peter Schreiner, you’ll find him at Crows Head Soup. Despite the fowl allusion, it’s a gathering place for venting spleen. For some good spleen-venting I recommend 20,000 miles — it vents much spleen. Carefully note that no actual spleens were damaged in the writing of that post.

I say that it is better to vent a spleen than to consume a spleen belonging to an animal that does not wish to relinquish her spleen for some splendid table.

Veganarchism joins aspects of veganism and anarchism. It is a sharp representation of V and A.

veganarchism

You don’t have to tilt at windmills to be an iconoclast. One hears “Resistance is Futile.” But what is the alternative? How about peace, independence and leaving the planet better than it was when you showed up here?

Suggest to a meater that a vegan diet is one wallop of a good idea?  No, not in polite society. They may even suggest that a day in Genesis (1:26) had already given one species the right to decide the rights of all the other species . So you could say that it’s okay to eat any living thing as long as it’s inhuman.

greenland.fire

Homo sapiens are not particularly adept at thinking for themselves, for independent thought, for paying forward; however their proclivity for crying havoc and letting slip the dogs of war? Wow. Truly amazing, astonishing and awful.

Eat, drink, make merry and declare endless war. Who’s with me?

I would prefer not to.

As I write this a large series of fires, fueled by vegetation formerly locked in permafrost rage across the western shores of Greenland. The soot they produce is spreading out over white ice sheets. What happens when you wear a black shirt on a sunny day? A shirt of soot is warming a body of land that seems destined to cast off ice-blocks aplenty. So, what are we to do? Book cruise ships that promise to get your arse up close and personal to the floating blocks. Scale the ice-face and flaunt your mettle. Scurry to the top, stake your flag and sizzle some spleen steak!

primal.hog.port.melt
This is someting called a primal hog porkmelt (spleen), but it looks like canine éliminent to me — steaming even. Just reporting.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meat, Dairy, Ova and Addiction

Veganism is gentle joy.

But it’s not very manly, Bill

owl.breakfast

Public Service Announcement:

Refrain from drinking alcohol, smoking tobacco or consuming Fentanyl® if you are, or think you may be, pregnant — chemicals found in these products may poison the womb and its contents.

Meat, Dairy and Ova

Do baby Homo sapiens already become addicted to meat while in the womb? Is meat an addictive substance? Is it harmful for children and other living things?

Meat is addictive.

Meat is life.

A field-trip activity:

Write anarchical vegan-inspired statements on a T-shirt and get thee to the local Kroger Dupermarket. Warning: wearing T-shirts may result in sudden death and/or punctured tires.

Meat-Eaters to Vegans — Drop Dead!

Here is a loaded question: do vegans threaten world order?  Meat economies consume much land, they poison much air, they kill much marine life — they even supercharge extinction events. See Anthropocene.

 

anthro-graphic

What happens after each of those extinction events?

The planet still rotates on its axis, the planet still revolves around the sun.

Beings from five earlier extinctions lived from sunrise to sunset to sunrise to sunset…

Now a word from our sponsor:

Hey, what is that congealed substance that remains in the skillet after you’ve skilletized pig parts or spatuled blood-laden cow flesh? Does it clog a human consumer’s veins, arteries, heart and brain?

Just put bacon on it and chill. Life is short — throttle it.

I wonder if that stuff sticks in sewer pipes? Answer at Waste-Water Archives

FOG

Did you know that most doctors are meat-eaters?

What about cereal killers, Bill?

Carnivores have sharp teeth for some reason. Carnivores have short digestive tracts for some reason. There is a subtle difference between wild animals and domesticated animals for some reason.

It’s a matter of self-defense, we die or the cow dies, and we’re smarter than cows.

Thanks for reading

 

 

Zeitangst

 

“I have a term that I’ve been throwing out occasionally,” Erle Ellis, a global ecologist at the University of Maryland, told me. “It’s the Zeitangst.”

— Robert Sullivan

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

— Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter S. would have warmed to the topic. A perfect folly, an utter absurdity — grist for a writer’s mill. The criminals in this novel are human, inhumane humans. The victims of the crime are both human and non-human — the crime is a kind of murder-suicide. Where is the crime scene? Sol’s third.

marble.earth

The murder weapon was forged from the remains of an earlier extinction event: subterranean flora and fauna under carpets of rock. Rock carpets pulled down by gravity. Intensely energy rich organic substances. Hydrocarbons.

Weaponized liquid fossil delivered by the purest capitalism on planet Earth, understated as Industrial Revolution. Intense energy capsulized in organic molecules created under great pressure, gravity tugs at the rocks above and pressurizes organics below. Stored energy from all manner of organic material, animal and vegetable under mineral.

Black gold, Texas tea

fossil.hand

Flying, crawling and swimming creatures alive at the time of extinction event number five.

During each extinction event the Earth becomes Venus-esque, and it stays that way for the eons it takes for perpetual cloud cover to dissipate.

Terra abides.

Its first victims were guilty of a fatal flaw: being born with an appetizing flesh, tasty organs and texturizable blood.

Kill, Cut and Sell. That’s the name of the game.

chitterlings

How many homo sapiens does it take to consume 70 billion unfortunately tasty species annually?

7 billion. In my eponymous birth-year there were 2 billion humans, far fewer than 20 billion animals were consumed. Wealth breeds waste, waste breeds wealth. Measured in units of GNP. Capital C Capitalism — a motive for the crime.

Veganism is gentle reproach.

Thanks to Mira of Everything socio and eco linguistic for inspiring this post 🙂

Thanks for reading.

Hot Dog! Meat is Life

Conventional wisdom is deeply rooted in falsehoods

In the land of the blind, the removal of eyes restores normality. H.G. Wells saw through that proverbial “one-eyed man is king” business in his short story “The Country of the Blind.” 

Warning: This article may offend non-vegan sensibilities. We suggest you click the back-arrow now. Yours truly, The Green Italicizers.

Meat is the stuff of conventional wisdom, it’s something ingested multiple times a day — from womb to tomb.  Consumers’ personal worth is measured in direct relation to the amount they consume.  Animal flesh, cookies and stolen from a calf milk, factory-farm-fresh eggs — just another addiction.

factory.farm.fresh
Factory Farm Fresh Eggs — Family Friendly and Profitable

The process begins at conception and ends at death. Addicted babies suffer painful withdrawal when denied the substances that feed meat-molecule craving. Meat-addicted doctors remind their pregnant patients to stop smoking, avoid secondhand smoke, maintain a healthy diet, remember that you are eating for two during pregnancy.

Meat, milk and ova — there’s the ticket. Here’s a barker for you:

“Get your calcium, get your protein, get your strength from ova, milk and meat. Amusement park and state fair visitors delight in the craven horror of fair food and freak shows. It’s a family lifestyle for family folks, folks.”

hot.dog.cheetos
Major League Baseball Fare

 

No. It’s a diet recognized as essential by the medical community, your friends and relations, bright advertisements in waiting-room magazines, 24/7 on TV — you are hungry, you are very very hungry, go to the refrigerator and pantry. Our product is not there? Go to the supermarket for a food desert dessert.

Trillions of dollars and billions of jobs depend upon maintaining “the way it’s always been.” Meat, dairy, egg — do they appear on the Nutrition Facts label? Yes, along long walls, along long aisles. Human nature is natural, Bill.

Omnibus Food Bills subsidize junk food. Subsidies divert money from healthy fare to junk-ridden fast food. Those subsidies keep crappy edibles affordable for those at the bottom of the food-industrial-complex food chain, any way you slice it. Slice it thin. Pile it high. Double cheese, please.

Consumers of vegan products bring less to the GNP. Meaty fare makes for tons of profits and meaty bottom lines. Each consumer devotes a lifetime of service to those death industries. Wealth-management partners measure future income by the units successfully brought to slaughter. We get away with it, Mr. Bill. We get away with it.

70 billion units per annum (a mix of quadrupeds, bipeds and swimmers in schools) processed from fur to marrow to roe.

livestock-article1
A globally climate-warming picture of progress

Meat is what makes a holiday memorable. It’s what’s for dinner. If it’s been done for thousands of years it must be a grand truth and a holy sacrament. Believe!

Pass the butchering art down over many centuries until it’s accepted as societal norm and cultural treasure. Think dominion over animals, being created as a model of deity. We’re number one. USAUSAUSA (fine sausages).

Hot dog! Meat is life.

Thanks for reading.

Veganism, Meatism and Freneticism

It’s a good day to weigh value systems and lifestyles.

Sounds judgmental, Bill. A waste of time and a waste of electrons. You know very well that we’re too busy and far too important to read your screed, yet you insist on inviting us to your frugal table. Why do that?

I don’t know.

ConsumeristVeganism

Freneticism. An active lifestyle, branded on gross national consumption — consumers playing a complacent role toward a dismal goal.

Michael Ende’s classic novel Momo explains it well. Ende knows his Zeitdieben (time thieves) — those functionaries  who siphon the productivity of persons more innocent, more gentle. Quite a fine book, if you have the time.

Do con artists ever have a hidden agenda? Just an idle question.

momo.zeitdiebe
from: Vegan Warrior Princesses Attack

May we remind you, Bill, there is more money in beef than in beets. Jobs from sea to befouled sea, that’s what we’re talking about. Filling waste-management positions, artery pharmaceutical rep salaries, butcheries and slaughterers, belly futurists, hide sellers, Boeuf Taco artisans.

Meatism: a lifestyle based on flesh and blood, unfertilized eggs, calf milk, buttered bacon, Snausages®  all nicely appointed on a dinner plate. Marketers know their play-books, how to drone a message into your psyche, how to grant you the illusion of independent thought —  you are the one doing the thinking. Something to manufacture a lasting crave, powerful enough to drive you from refrigerator and pantry to the supermarket and back. Where are the car keys? The 12-hour Energy Boosters®?

Consume, c o n s u m e, C O N S U M E, c o n s u m e, consume. 

The lab gals and guys have skills honed to fashion biochemical ions that stimulate taste receptors and simulate well-being. Palm oil fuels a munch crave. Be they chips or be they crisps — an open bag is an empty bag. Palm oil substitutes for hydrogenated oil, but threatens rainforests.

You’re a do-gooder and a poison-ivy hugger, Bill. Let us buy you an ivy salad. Our treat.

Buy another bag. And aren’t you clever now  — buy a bigger bag or two, or five. Buy ten bags and save ten dollars. The more you buy, the more you save.

Wow. Where are the car keys? The 12-hour Energy®?

A dinner plate is a wasteland, absent a meat entree to grace it, my friend. We did not evolve to nibble bunny salads and sip miso soup. Let us tell you about tired emaciated vegans. God made animals for us to domesticate and to eat. F-ing cows were not created in God’s image. We are not Bottom-headed — and we’re not bottom feeders. 

Of course.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Vegans Threaten World Order!

News Headline: Vegans Threaten World Order!

Warning. This post is rated VV — violently vegan. Not suitable for…?

We’re getting weary of your salad-eating-vegan fare , Bill. Let’s make something clear. Veganism is a form of terrorism, do you know what that makes you?

 

 

vegan_vs_meat_eater
from The Snow Fairy

Do vegans threaten world order? Yes. World order implies the preservation of disorder — something Mayor Richard Daley uttered in 1968 with a memorable tongue slip:

“The police are not here to create disorder, they’re here to preserve disorder.”

Seventy billion kills per year implies disorder, in my mind at least. More on this in a minute.

Time for a few statistics. There are three times as many homo sapiens alive today as there were in 1947, when I personally joined the fray. What about fellow sentient creatures in factory friendly slaughter houses? Well, they suffer short brutal lives, but let’s call it inventory turnover. Why? Because one specie values them for their flesh, fur and hide. Consumers love everything about them. A snapshot census for your statistical curiosity: seven billion of one specie consume seventy billion fellow sentient creatures, annually

We like fine Corinthian leather and we like the smell of bacon in the morning, jellied gasoline, while we’re at it (ha ha. We made a funny). Love it or leave it, my friend. Get with the program before we body-slam you.

“Smart leather fashions are arriving just in time for your busy Summer.”

Who gives the thumbs up or thumbs down? Private and personal shoppers in the marketplace do, aisle by aisle by aisle: does the nutrition label of that item you’re tossing into the shopping cart contain body parts or body-part byproducts? When the barcode is read a replenishment order automatically issues. Death by scan.

grill-sergeant-apron-outdoors

Celebrate your heritage by firing up the barbie and wearing a meaty heritage on your apron (the one with the funny soundbites).

Holidays here march on. They mark successive memories of war or metaphors for war. Remember Hamburger Hill while enjoying ground-bovines. Equate patriotic soundbites with a craving for cheeseburgers while you sit on a hill with buns around sizzling bovines and tubed slaughter of befouled fowl, cow and cowering pig. Call it a hot dog memory.

If you like the seventy million so much, why don’t you join them. I hear they’re hiring in Meatland, Misery, if you’re man enough. Capiche?

Thanks for reading.