Hot Dog! Meat is Life

Conventional wisdom is deeply rooted in falsehoods

In the land of the blind, the removal of eyes restores normality. H.G. Wells saw through that proverbial “one-eyed man is king” business in his short story “The Country of the Blind.” 

Warning: This article may offend non-vegan sensibilities. We suggest you click the back-arrow now. Yours truly, The Green Italicizers.

Meat is the stuff of conventional wisdom, it’s something ingested multiple times a day — from womb to tomb.  Consumers’ personal worth is measured in direct relation to the amount they consume.  Animal flesh, cookies and stolen from a calf milk, factory-farm-fresh eggs — just another addiction.

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Factory Farm Fresh Eggs — Family Friendly and Profitable

The process begins at conception and ends at death. Addicted babies suffer painful withdrawal when denied the substances that feed meat-molecule craving. Meat-addicted doctors remind their pregnant patients to stop smoking, avoid secondhand smoke, maintain a healthy diet, remember that you are eating for two during pregnancy.

Meat, milk and ova — there’s the ticket. Here’s a barker for you:

“Get your calcium, get your protein, get your strength from ova, milk and meat. Amusement park and state fair visitors delight in the craven horror of fair food and freak shows. It’s a family lifestyle for family folks, folks.”

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Major League Baseball Fare

 

No. It’s a diet recognized as essential by the medical community, your friends and relations, bright advertisements in waiting-room magazines, 24/7 on TV — you are hungry, you are very very hungry, go to the refrigerator and pantry. Our product is not there? Go to the supermarket for a food desert dessert.

Trillions of dollars and billions of jobs depend upon maintaining “the way it’s always been.” Meat, dairy, egg — do they appear on the Nutrition Facts label? Yes, along long walls, along long aisles. Human nature is natural, Bill.

Omnibus Food Bills subsidize junk food. Subsidies divert money from healthy fare to junk-ridden fast food. Those subsidies keep crappy edibles affordable for those at the bottom of the food-industrial-complex food chain, any way you slice it. Slice it thin. Pile it high. Double cheese, please.

Consumers of vegan products bring less to the GNP. Meaty fare makes for tons of profits and meaty bottom lines. Each consumer devotes a lifetime of service to those death industries. Wealth-management partners measure future income by the units successfully brought to slaughter. We get away with it, Mr. Bill. We get away with it.

70 billion units per annum (a mix of quadrupeds, bipeds and swimmers in schools) processed from fur to marrow to roe.

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A globally climate-warming picture of progress

Meat is what makes a holiday memorable. It’s what’s for dinner. If it’s been done for thousands of years it must be a grand truth and a holy sacrament. Believe!

Pass the butchering art down over many centuries until it’s accepted as societal norm and cultural treasure. Think dominion over animals, being created as a model of deity. We’re number one. USAUSAUSA (fine sausages).

Hot dog! Meat is life.

Thanks for reading.

Crohn’s and Diet — What gives?

A kind reader’s comment catalyzed my thought process to inspire this post. Seriously. My readers are wondrous alchemists that way 🙂

Crohn’s and Diet — What gives?

diet-loses-their-minds

Curiously enough, I need not reset the year on my time-machine dashboard. We’ve recently visited curious stuff in 1975, but this time I won’t rattle on about Singer minicomputers. This time-travel travelogue concerns a close encounter at the shore of the river Styx at age 27.

The vacuum tubes in my time machine are powered by  rearranging electrons. This permits movement through time, according to a red-herring theory concocted one day while waiting on a bus to Eureka. I’ve heard that one theory is as good as another.

I’ve discovered an intriguing tattoo inspired by experience with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) — something quite striking IMO.

ibd.inspired.tat

 

Sorry, but we suspect you’re just belly-aching, Bill. We’ve heard that Crohn’s is all in your mind. For the record, would you be nice and admit that?

No.

I visited my doctor on a Friday afternoon —there was unrelenting fever and stomach pain. The pain and fever were still there on Monday morning — so my doctor, being the gullible type,  told me to get my guts to the emergency room. They assigned the nearest available surgeon, one who knew how to remove several yards of intestine. The surgeon was not known for his bedside manner — he informed me that I’d brought the disease on myself by worrying too much. His advice: stop worrying and it will go away — QED.

Bill, you’ve simply become more gutless.

I guess so.

Let’s shove some electrons in the other direction: to 1978. Just a simple corollary if you will. Time is straight-forward stuff. It has a past, a present and a hypothetical future.

This time ’round I had the same Crohn’s flare up symptoms, but something unusual caught my eye while pissing in the pot — gases and solids came out with the liquid. It seems that a fistula (a tunnel) grew from an intestinal wall and connected with my bladder, thereby compromising my urinary tract.

In other words, Bill, you decided to strain the nation’s provisional health care system AGAIN. Had you listened to the wise advice of that first surgeon and changed you state of mind…instead you became ever more gutless.

This time an excellent team of surgeons were available to perform simultaneous intestinal and bladder operations. I spent the following nine weeks in a hospital bed, weaning off Prednisone by eating popsicles three times a day.  Hyperalimentation was a new technique invented by Dr. Stanley Dudrick. A tube was inserted near my right collar bone, through a vein and into my heart. Simple dumping into veins would clog immediately My weight before the hyper-A was 51 kg. Under hyper-A resulted in a weight gain of 454 gram per day.

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After a surgery for removal of some more intestine, and an attempt to reconnect healthy tissue to healthy tissue, I woke up with a colostomy — it reminds me of that gentle expression “We’re going to cut you a new asshole” ; in other words, I eliminated solid waste when the excrement reached that rectal alternative. The takeaway: two weeks after that surgery I was back at work and regaining strength.

We do like that part about the rectal alternative, but we do not approve of your language. Just trying to keep things civil here. You’re not very nice, are you?

Junk food is still food

I encountered that chunk of idiocy while researching this post.

Well, you got to die of something

Sadly, nutrition does not interest most physicians. There are head-shaking doctors who rail against vegan patients that have the temerity to answer a questionnaire with an honest response.

you.are.what.you.eat

It’s very much left to personal choice, and what is called dietary freedom. I suggest this caveat — you’re bucking trillion-dollar industries when you question the consumption of sentient-animals.

You are told that malabsorption results in low B-12 levels, that the most effective solution is cow consumption — the more the better. Bon appetit.

There is not much funding available for the promotion of vegan diets. Following the money leads you to profitable enterprises — a trillion dollars is not chump change.

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When I finally realized that cheese, dairy and eggs meant both bad karma and bad health, my health became much better. Perhaps it’s the positive influence of all my kind readers :-).

Diet is only considered if there is a handy pharmaceutical prescription to address it — a little special remuneration in back pockets perhaps, provided by the nattily dressed and manicured, not to mention Happy. HAPPY. H A P P Y Big Pharm reps.

 

Thanks for reading.

Veganism 102: Think Outside the Asylum

According to a highly anonymous source the holiday season begins with monster-sized sales of Halloween junk food or junk ephemera. It peaks on Super Bowl Sunday to celebrate the nation’s Gross Decadent Product — it’s gross, it’s decadent, it’s a product.

Marketing term of the day: Bold Challenge: the perfect balance between perfidy and truth. Get away with whatever you can, whenever you can, whatever the stretch. Gain advantage. Think bottom line. Think Glengarry Glen Ross.

 

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Meat is Violence

Well Bill, let me explain the game of American football. The NFL is life. In college I learned that football programs fund universities. Sports medicine is the sugar that keeps the doctor away. Concussions: a money-making bold challenge for research grant seekers. Research dollars flow to research grant holders. Jobs is jobs is jobs. Now that is a bold challenge. It’s where the smart money gravitates. Live with it.

What to do with all that depleted uranium? Proclaim it a natural resource. Naturally it’s a resource, one discovered by Americans for Americans in America. Does that star-spangled banner still wave?

What’s next? Well, in daydreams I fancy myself a broadcaster working for the sports at Fox.

What inspired that Bill?

Well, I read that math and science is superfluous for science reporters at Fox News (the balanced and the fair). One Fox science reporter majored in wrestling.

And so, my awe-inspiring paucity of sports knowledge qualifies me eminently. Bill Ziegler, sports expert for Fox Sports (or whatever it’s called).

Do I digress, or what?

Veganism is not even recognized in the WordPress dictionary of spellings. It’s simply not in the database. What gives?  That’s my question. Veganism reduces madness on befouled planets. Not a bad idea. Really. Think outside the asylum.

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Vote Big Coal Kentucky! Revive depleted uranium for military vehicles racing through the Middle East. Weapons proudly labelled “Made in the USA” and protected by the Second Amendment.

Mad in the USA.

 

Speaking of the sports metaphor, are they hiring at the white phosphorous plant up in Chemical Valley? The Charleston River flows into the Ohio River. They call it the chemical capital of the world. It’s in West Virginia, where the jobs aren’t. American jobs not already stolen by Indians in India or Indian-giving (tongue-in-cheek) Indians in North America.

Union Carbide once operated a plant in Bhopal India…

Look Bill. Get real and get with the program. ’nuff said?

Hey Bill, aluminum cans are flimsy, not like the steel ones we made right here in these States of the United. But do you know what’s not flimsy: beer cans tempered with depleted uranium. We have a lot of this raw material. It’s a resource, naturally enough.

 

depleted-uranium

The Graduate-level advice in two words: depleted uranium.

Thanks for reading.