The Meat Investor: Serving Man

The year in review

Livestock stocks ended the year strong as the present and futures markets overwhelmingly outperformed vegan stocks to bring a hefty profit to all our investors. “Serving Man” remains out motto for 2019, it affirms a self-serving stance that is forward-looking and alert to market opportunism.

The meat of the matter is making and marketing meat — the profitable products obtained from the slaughter of nonhuman animals — and finding more ways to counter the criminal activities of animal-rights lunatics that make our job more difficult. These threats range from legally preventing animal-rights protesters from gathering at markets to keeping a lid on anti-meat vested interests in the media. We must counter insipid insistence on truth-in-advertising, it hampers our efforts. Eternal vigilance is our sacred vow. Our guiding principle — separation of meat and animal — is a social contract that has kept meat-keeping successful for many generations.

To Serve Man

On the good-news side, ever more creative and diversional ways help keep the social contract of deception alive, well, and thriving. We are promoting a “Chikens protesting Kows” campaign to protect our bovine-blood lover markets as a balancing measure within the meat sector. Of course, we are continuing to bulwark the processed bird distributors in their efforts. Opportunists find themselves in a win-win circumstance, fevered fervor healthens all bottom lines.

On the production side, we witness a record number of calls to the death camps for more body parts and body byproducts. Dead animals are getting snapped up in the supermarket at an extraordinary rate, but the death mills are still able to keep up with those snappings.

Once again, turkeys flocked to the extermination camps to assure body-counts sufficient to sate demand for Rockwellian Thankfulness. More than a few smart shoppers took advantage of super carload lots of corpses-sans-heads to grace holiday tables on Turkey day. Benjamin Franklin would have been proud to know that his Grade-A choice for the national bird would find a way into the stomachs of the Americans who honor patriotic fervor, fanfare and fulsomeness.

Our commitment to dollars über alles maintains product issuing from our many wholesome death chambers. Participation by workers without papers help assure that warm bodies be recruited to work the dead bodies along the carcass hook lines. Our mission is to sate family expectations where it counts: at the checkout line.

Temporary workers without papers are silent partners who generously manned the death stations this year. Public shrugs have been many, they are helpful and they are much appreciated. We also thank those huddled masses for manning stations despite faster carcass production times. All who benefit from significantly higher kills per hour will find a bonus check available in mid-February, bonus amount depending on the number of processed byproducts consumed during the Super Bowl — increased product available in November and saved for the Big Game in February might otherwise find inadequate consumption in the school lunch lines that accept our lower-grade carcasses. Death means dividends for all that decaying flesh you have frozen since Black Friday.

Unpapered Workers in a Slaughterhouse

Remember that climate change offers unexpected opportunity — stockpiling is as traditional as drive-through backups for Big Macs. So stockpile for more than snow emergencies to restock, reinvest and redouble advert efforts. Shopper-inducement software is doing an even better job at tracking eye-movements in the highest crave aisles — it’s where the eye meets the meat, where the software captures consumer movements toward product and movement of product into the shopping cart.

Eye-movement tracking

Watch for even fatter profits in 2019, and who cares how we get there.

Thanks for reading.

13 thoughts on “The Meat Investor: Serving Man”

  1. Veganism is NOT catching on. As human population continues to grow, more and more people are eating animals, and more and more animals are being tortured and murdered. This is NOT a failure we can blame on vegans! The blame lies entirely on those choosing to eat animals despite the information given them by vegans. We vegans are doing everything within our power to convince the masses to stop the bloodbath. Our power is very limited by the laws and by the government. About all we can do is talk, write, and show pictures of vegan food. The Animal Holocaust continues and grows larger because that’s what humanity wants.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the important response, Spunky. I am also flustered, and more than slightly angered, by the ability of the death mills to so easily dominate consumer minds and to so cleverly make “meat” a seamless part of a civilized and fun-loving culture. They are masters of that dark art at the same time as they are a powerful and profitable aspect of the social fabric 24/7. It’s why I try to peer into their machinery and to understand how to defeat it — hopefully at its own game. I am still very much a veganarchist though. 🙂 Thanks for your powerful words. Always.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Au contraire; change IS happening! Check out GFI Institute who is funding ground-up industry change that will put ‘clean meat’ in a competing position alongside current meat and dairy — subsidies and check-offs in place. It’s very hopeful for the future of farmed animals. Forbes magazine is calling 2019 ‘The Year of the Vegan.’

      Did you know that Carl’s Jr. partnered with Beyond Meat for a 100% plant-based fast food chain burger? We’ve had ours .. and staff all wearing T-shirts promoting the new ‘Beyond Famous Star’ was equally rewarding.

      Have hope. And keep the path. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you most kindly, Peter. Sort of 🙂 In any event, execution is the chief role, indeed. When you join the enormous power of that sanctified industry with the enormous power of advertising/marketing/propaganda, you’re up against a big and ugly opponent. Marketers study inhuman psychology and the keep up with the latest technological breakthroughs, they don’t even have to do it surreptitiously because it is an ‘honorable’ calling. However, it does have an Achilles heel: the need to stoke the machinery of darkness with enormous lies; in fact, with the big lie: “serving” happy and loyal customers. I always think of the Super Bowl as their crowning achievement, a way to unload the carcass inventory that builds up during the mad consumerism that they profit by. The Nazis had some pretty powerful propaganda teams, and also the industrial giants that loyally and profitably made The Holocaust happen. To quote Spunky Bunny:
      “The Animal Holocaust continues and grows larger because that’s what humanity wants.”

      Liked by 3 people

  2. What a powerful, intelligent and very depressing post, it just confirms everything I see and feel around me, that most people are still under control and programmed to accept this, it’s just ‘how things are’ and they’re quite happy to go along with that, don’t want to think about it, while the big companies rake in the profits of their death businesses and care absolutely nothing for either their victims or the consumers, as long as the profits roll in. Power, control, money, all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually, I considered not posting this because it was nauseating on so many levels, but these are trillion-dollar industries that permeate “civilized” human society. Slaughterhouses are located in sparsely populated areas, never near highways or access roads. Between those exits you find fast food, food deserts, and climate-changing fossiled fuels. Between those exits you see happily grazing barnyard animals that may as well be cardboard cutouts, but it is where memories are formed from an early age.

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  3. ‘Turkeys flocked to the extermination camps to assure body-counts sufficient to sate demand for Rockwellian Thankfulness.’ Such a well stated fact that needs to be repeated ad nauseum. The vegan’s purpose is to disrupt willful ignorance; it’s why we aren’t invited to gatherings as often, I’m sure.

    I wrote a more hopeful message above. Keeping a joyful conversation going (i.e. the benefits of avoiding exploited beings) goes further among my omnivore brethren than (inherently) making them feel bad about their choices, I find.

    When it comes to change for my children’s benefit, I don’t want to close doors to difficult conversations .. I want to open them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I do believe that some of us are actually awakening many. On my blog alone, I have had several comments from people who are, indeed, leaving behind them the dead carcasses in a supermarket bin and are finding it more palatable and healthier to never venture beyond the produce and fruit sections. They are inventing ways to use the peelings of the vegetables in stews and soups that are ‘animal product free. Even if it seems that all is lost, all is not lost. As long as there is air in our lungs, we can make a difference.

    For some strange reason, people love talking to me and I must admit that, somehow, I always turn the conversation to the slaughter of helpless animals to feed humans and yet how no one can look at their dog and lustfully envision it dead on their dinner plate while at the same time, have no problem with a part of dead cow on their plate, as they salivate over its bloody remains.

    And I admit, that sometimes even I get frustrated when I am driving around and I have to switch lanes because the one that’s nearer to a McDonald’s, there’s a backup. You’d think they were giving away gold bullion when dead meat is their quest. But nevertheless, I don’t completely give into despair. I just know that there is more that I need to do because an ‘animal’ is depending on me, on some ‘human’ for their very life.

    Please, do not give in to despair.

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    1. This is better than receiving a Golden Globe award, so I shall herewith call it a Green Globe award. It’s better than an Oscar because that name reminds me of Oscar-Mayer BA LO GNA. I write for the marginalized animal beings that live in a death camp (meat-processing facility). Imagine merciless camp attendants who wield a knife, a prod, a taser, a bullet for your brain. One of the death-chamber guards relieves himself with an earworm:
      I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
      That is what I truly wish to be
      Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer weiner
      Everyone would be in love
      Oh everyone would be in love
      Everyone would be in love with me

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Prospero,

      Thank you for the link and thanks for your writings, I am a proponent of sustainable eating and actually enjoy the simpler things, such as reading and writing posts, comments, replies…and the more than occasional rant. I also like being known as “Leftover Man” — not soon to be a major motion picture 🙂

      Like

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