Just Don’t Think About It

Of course “it” will get you down if you keep thinking about it.

What’s this shit?

The things you can change. Epictetus (circa 65 c.e.), a Greek slave, is often quoted, usually without attribution, on such matters.  You may know it by its most familiar incarnation: The Serenity Prayer. Epictetus represents the more stoic side dreamt of in philosophy, a view from the complement.  The other side of the coin features the much better known Greek philosopher: Epicurus. Eat, drink and live as comfortably as possible.

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A coin has two sides, you won’t encounter many one-sided coins in the agora. Any of the way, imagine a coin with the names of those two philosophers, may each take a side.

Epictetus Epicurus.

There’s nothing new under the sun, even Earthly extinction events; in fact, we live and love in the shadow of extinction possibility number six. The sun abides however. No wonder so many worship. Sol so.

We will return to tet and cur following these words from our sp*ns*r.

We’re whispering because Bill is hard-of-hearing (we have switched off closed captioning too). He can’t hear us. Please don’t spill the beans. It’s just us, just us. 

Who are we? We are an apocryphal (in your dreams!) den of con-artisans who conspire to keep the population glued to a shiny entertaining crystal, one with innumerable facets, like a diamond formed from coal under heat and pressure — a distillation of a rich biomass: a rapid metamorphosis: life to death at nearly the same time, and without a funeral service. Ironically that biomass is organic matter long dead but now continually pressed into the stuff of instant energy, such as coal, such as oil. Bringing it to the surface quickens carbon dioxide accumulation in Earth’s thin atmospheric. Lungs like yours breathe it. Take a deep one and hold it.

Don’t forget: we don’t exist. We’re more gravy than grave. Relax and enjoy, enjoy and relax, relax and repeat….

…Hold on a second. Did I fall asleep during a nightmarish commercial? I don’t feel very well, actually quite nauseous. What the freak?

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Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt. Er lag auf seinem panzerartig harten Rücken und sah, wenn er den Kopf ein wenig hob, seinen gewölbten, braunen, von bogenförmigen Versteifungen geteilten Bauch, auf dessen Höhe sich die Bettdecke, zum gänzlichen Niedergleiten bereit, kaum noch erhalten konnte. Seine vielen, im Vergleich zu seinem sonstigen Umfang kläglich dünnen Beine flimmerten ihm hilflos vor den Augen.

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections. From this height the blanket, just about ready to slide off completely, could hardly stay in place. His numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veganism, Meatism and Freneticism

It’s a good day to weigh value systems and lifestyles.

Sounds judgmental, Bill. A waste of time and a waste of electrons. You know very well that we’re too busy and far too important to read your screed, yet you insist on inviting us to your frugal table. Why do that?

I don’t know.

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Freneticism. An active lifestyle, branded on gross national consumption — consumers playing a complacent role toward a dismal goal.

Michael Ende’s classic novel Momo explains it well. Ende knows his Zeitdieben (time thieves) — those functionaries  who siphon the productivity of persons more innocent, more gentle. Quite a fine book, if you have the time.

Do con artists ever have a hidden agenda? Just an idle question.

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from: Vegan Warrior Princesses Attack

May we remind you, Bill, there is more money in beef than in beets. Jobs from sea to befouled sea, that’s what we’re talking about. Filling waste-management positions, artery pharmaceutical rep salaries, butcheries and slaughterers, belly futurists, hide sellers, Boeuf Taco artisans.

Meatism: a lifestyle based on flesh and blood, unfertilized eggs, calf milk, buttered bacon, Snausages®  all nicely appointed on a dinner plate. Marketers know their play-books, how to drone a message into your psyche, how to grant you the illusion of independent thought —  you are the one doing the thinking. Something to manufacture a lasting crave, powerful enough to drive you from refrigerator and pantry to the supermarket and back. Where are the car keys? The 12-hour Energy Boosters®?

Consume, c o n s u m e, C O N S U M E, c o n s u m e, consume. 

The lab gals and guys have skills honed to fashion biochemical ions that stimulate taste receptors and simulate well-being. Palm oil fuels a munch crave. Be they chips or be they crisps — an open bag is an empty bag. Palm oil substitutes for hydrogenated oil, but threatens rainforests.

You’re a do-gooder and a poison-ivy hugger, Bill. Let us buy you an ivy salad. Our treat.

Buy another bag. And aren’t you clever now  — buy a bigger bag or two, or five. Buy ten bags and save ten dollars. The more you buy, the more you save.

Wow. Where are the car keys? The 12-hour Energy®?

A dinner plate is a wasteland, absent a meat entree to grace it, my friend. We did not evolve to nibble bunny salads and sip miso soup. Let us tell you about tired emaciated vegans. God made animals for us to domesticate and to eat. F-ing cows were not created in God’s image. We are not Bottom-headed — and we’re not bottom feeders. 

Of course.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Texturized insects as protein and exploitation

I am the proverbial fly on the conference room wall. The topic is climate change: how do we profit from catastrophe. Profit profit über alles, über alles in der Welt.

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Agenda items:

The herbivorous are threats most dangerous in the land of the carnivorous.

A promising opportunity to profitably exploit the human craving system: Feed insects to meat eaters in near future by playing the climate card.

Keep every pipeline fully flowing to fill all shelves. But appear forward-thinking and exciting. Technology sells well. Widen fossil-fuel pipeline paths to permit parallel pipelines for moving bugs to processing nodes. Pump to population centers and employ existing logistical systems.

A fresh idea: suck insects off the swamps that climate change creates. Convert submerged buildings into nesting cells for all manner of swamp-thriving bugs. Purchase real estate at the cheap and use existing food service logistical paths.

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Sweet secret: we’re going to continue producing meat to satisfy the demand that we expect to continue. A bigger stake in steak if you will. The new insect consuming customers can have their meat and the maggots too. We need risk no jobs/votes from meat cravers.

Never forget politically important States such as Iowa. Meet the meat voter where they eat. Steak, eggs, milk. Meat is forever.

Let me pass this thought for a grub stake. Suggest through advertising that vegans failed to deliver at the marketplace. Vegan diets are passé anyway, tofu = joke, veggie burger = another joke. Vegans will remain the brunt of ridicule, ‘nough said?

It is so wonderful that the fake-news industry grows just as corporations need fake news most.

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Here’s a bold challenge: devote marketing budgets into fake agencies like the Koch brothers funded in the 2016 political arena. The core idea: guise disinformation and cloak actual information. So, vegans are sickly and poorly informed about the role of meat, egg and dairy for healthy families.

Don’t forget that big lies yield big paychecks and bigger lies yield bigger paychecks. Simple economics.

Fortunately for the fine and decent folk neck deep in fossil-fuel sectors: we will shortly enjoy an administration in D.C. that recognizes the eternal vigor of pyramid schemes — envision the eye atop the pyramid as the eye of Trump. Our president arrives in two months, confidence man incarnate. Con artists never lie.

Now, who is responsible for developing an inauguration ploy: something like reports of 444 day hostages crossing free airspace as Reagan spoke in 1981. A symbolic action portrays a phoenix-bird Trump arising from a failed Obama administration.

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War has always been peace.

Freedom has always been slavery.

Ignorance has always been strength.

And so, seekers of wealth at any cost: the only thing you have to fear is truth.

Veganism 102: Think Outside the Asylum

According to a highly anonymous source the holiday season begins with monster-sized sales of Halloween junk food or junk ephemera. It peaks on Super Bowl Sunday to celebrate the nation’s Gross Decadent Product — it’s gross, it’s decadent, it’s a product.

Marketing term of the day: Bold Challenge: the perfect balance between perfidy and truth. Get away with whatever you can, whenever you can, whatever the stretch. Gain advantage. Think bottom line. Think Glengarry Glen Ross.

 

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Meat is Violence

Well Bill, let me explain the game of American football. The NFL is life. In college I learned that football programs fund universities. Sports medicine is the sugar that keeps the doctor away. Concussions: a money-making bold challenge for research grant seekers. Research dollars flow to research grant holders. Jobs is jobs is jobs. Now that is a bold challenge. It’s where the smart money gravitates. Live with it.

What to do with all that depleted uranium? Proclaim it a natural resource. Naturally it’s a resource, one discovered by Americans for Americans in America. Does that star-spangled banner still wave?

What’s next? Well, in daydreams I fancy myself a broadcaster working for the sports at Fox.

What inspired that Bill?

Well, I read that math and science is superfluous for science reporters at Fox News (the balanced and the fair). One Fox science reporter majored in wrestling.

And so, my awe-inspiring paucity of sports knowledge qualifies me eminently. Bill Ziegler, sports expert for Fox Sports (or whatever it’s called).

Do I digress, or what?

Veganism is not even recognized in the WordPress dictionary of spellings. It’s simply not in the database. What gives?  That’s my question. Veganism reduces madness on befouled planets. Not a bad idea. Really. Think outside the asylum.

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Vote Big Coal Kentucky! Revive depleted uranium for military vehicles racing through the Middle East. Weapons proudly labelled “Made in the USA” and protected by the Second Amendment.

Mad in the USA.

 

Speaking of the sports metaphor, are they hiring at the white phosphorous plant up in Chemical Valley? The Charleston River flows into the Ohio River. They call it the chemical capital of the world. It’s in West Virginia, where the jobs aren’t. American jobs not already stolen by Indians in India or Indian-giving (tongue-in-cheek) Indians in North America.

Union Carbide once operated a plant in Bhopal India…

Look Bill. Get real and get with the program. ’nuff said?

Hey Bill, aluminum cans are flimsy, not like the steel ones we made right here in these States of the United. But do you know what’s not flimsy: beer cans tempered with depleted uranium. We have a lot of this raw material. It’s a resource, naturally enough.

 

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The Graduate-level advice in two words: depleted uranium.

Thanks for reading.

Veganism 101

On Saturday Lisa and I met Peter Schreiner and his lovely family for an incomparable vegan celebration at their home. Anyone fortunate enough to know Peter’s steady mindful support for animal rights and the wisdom of veganism knows that this would become a singular moment. Of course it was much more than a wonderful experience, it was immensely fruitful and vegetable-full.
Here is a reblog from October 2016 that speaks to the power of Mr. Schreiner’s voice. Written a bit over a year ago, the sentiments still reverberate.
Dedicated here to all sentient creatures gifted with this planet.

Peter Schreiner is the voice of Crows Head Soup. His post Animal Welfare is stirring enthusiasm for the pillars of Veganism and the bedrock supporting those pillars.

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Veganism happens one human at a time, one awesome realization at a time. As Peter suggests, the information is out there. And so is well funded disinformation.

Caveat emptor

I have found that adopting a vegan lifestyle is not privation. It’s not like “giving up something” at all, unless you view toxins as dietary supplements. Detoxing is uncomfortable and wearying. Eating a portion of animal or animal byproduct provides short term relief. It’s like waking up in the morning with a coughing fit that goes away when you light up the first cigarette of the day.

Nicotine is also a cough suppressant. But it takes a while for nicotine to excrete completely. Withdrawal is agony. I am an ex-smoker as well as an ex-drinker, I actually told myself that tobacco and alcohol were at least vegan. Craving will twist reason into whatever contortion necessary to rationalize consumption of more and more (and more) of the toxin that tastes and feels good. Thanksgiving?

Mad Men of the 50’s and the cigarettes they peddled. “Chesterfields are smoked by more doctors than any other cigarette.” The ads were Norman Rockwellesque. All the while the enormo-gigantic corporations losing customers to “quitting” can recoup losses by shifting capital into other craved crap. Philip Morris purchased Kraft (it’s the cheesiest).

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Hey Bill, my body must be deficient of something found in Johnsonville sausages. Maybe my body is trying to tell me to eat more, due to a deficiency or something like that.  Anyway, my opinion is as good as your fact in this new post-truth era. I crave them so much, my dietary system knows it needs it. And I always feel better after eating four or six. I mean, it’s only natural, you know what I mean? Yes. comfort foods are satisfying heritages. Eat some more turkey and let’s retire to the parlor and light up a couple big-ass cigars! 

Palm oil is one such line item on a Nutrition Label that provides no nutrients. It simply excites a pleasure center in the brain, a chemical that induces a satisfying sensation for the palate. Must.eat.more.must… Eating just one is cheating.

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Thanks for reading.