Critical Race Theory

A set of complimentary interlocking myths comprises the History of the United States, these are parroted through classrooms from one generation to the next. Everyone remembers the same glorious tales with the same soundbites and the same illustrations. A parent who is helping their child get ready for an upcoming test need only recall the same familiar soundbites, familiar pictures from classroom history books

Catchy mnemonics convey the same rhyme from Columbus onward. Queen Isabella needed some cash flow and the brave Christopher was ready to go and eager to serve. How many ships? Name them. What color was the ocean? Columbus Day comes and goes every year in October from century to century, but the ocean is still the same color blue. To question a sacred holiday is an act of tyranny committed by traitors. Name at traitor, it will be on the test. Hint: enedictBay arnoldHey.

George Washington Carver invented a peanut processing technology, thereby proving that blacks played a significant role in US History, single-handedly dispelling the myth of systemic racism and connecting his race to the first POTUS at the same time. American ingenuity makes a favorite white-bread peanut-based staple that children bring to school for lunch coast-to-coast. It will probably be on the test.

“Don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes.” This one probably appeared in a word-search handout passed out by a substitute teacher. Word search activities are no substitution for the teaching of actual history, nor do Friday movies on a completely ahistorical topic.

“Remember the Alamo”, but do not ask why so very many cities in the Southwest US have Spanish names. No worries, it will not be on the test. Why do so many towns in the US of A begin with the word “Fort”? The town I live in for one. The Indigenous Peoples did not have anything equivalent, so you may safely forget that little toss-away fact.

All these falsehoods have contributed to the need for Critical Race Theory. However, the opponents won’t even get past the title. Here is how those three words impact those who find that title offensive. Let’s say that CRT was disproven when GW Carver secured Patent No. 1,632,365. Conflate this achievement by implying that the invention proves that we have an equal playing field now. The letters CRT contain fighting words. The word

CRITICAL

seems to question established American values, a way of life. The preferred word might be AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, something that had never existed before, something that gives us a reason to overthrow governments worldwide and to install a puppet authority figure who toes the line.

RACE

“Race” doesn’t exist, there is no such thing because the Declaration of Independence clearly states that all males … erm … men are created equal. This may also be on the test. What will? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If you crack eggs of varying shell color into a frying pan, the yolk is yellow and the albumen is white for each egg — QED.

THEORY

implies that it might be proven incorrect, such as the so-called Theory of Evolution — an impossible notion that would require a computer bigger than the known universe to solve. Computers have been known to make mistakes. Google “Steal the Vote” for irrefutable evidence on how many ballots were destroyed in 2020 to discover. Patriots we’re following the American Way when searching for Democrats to lynch. The traitor Mike Pence was one person that those tourists sought.

Mark Twain will probably be on the test. Remember the titles Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. If you are asked to name a black who does not have the name George Washington Carver, you can likely get credit for a character in one of those novels (hint: Huckleberry Finn) — Jim. You can also mention the language Twain uses (the N-word for one) as an example of how “political correctness” has destroyed free speech. This may be on the essay part of the test.

Just so that you do not waste your studying time on topics that will definitely *not* be on the test, you need not concern yourself with what Mark Twain knew about the 600 US kills of the Moros in the Philippine Islands

At the end of the nineteenth century, the United States moved to expand its formal empire, annexing lands in Hawaii, Guam, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Samoa, and the Philippines following the end of the Spanish-American War. But this expansionism produced political opposition at home. The anti-imperialist movement counted among its members leading writers and intellectuals, including the satirist Samuel Clemens, known by his pen name Mark Twain. Twain is remembered for his novels Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. Far less well known are his scathing writings against the expansion of the U.S. empire. Moved to public opposition against the bloody invasion and occupation of the Philippines in 1899—which President George W. Bush cited in 2003 as a “model” for the occupation of Iraq— Twain returned after ten years of living abroad to become the vice president of the recently formed Anti-Imperialist League in 1900. Upon his return, he declared “1 am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.” Here is part of his bitter essay1 about a massacre of some six hundred Moros in the Philippines.

From Voices of A People’s History, edited by Zinn and Arnove

The lynching of blacks is as well documented as it is unknown among US history students. The massacre of blacks in Tulsa in 1921 is a topic I covered on this blog two years ago, it is another major event that does not exist in the collective memory of US history students, nor has it existed since Washington cut down that apocryphal cherry tree.

Thanks for reading.

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