A Vegan in the Agora

Hello all and each 🙂 Here is yet another post on a theme of vega..

nism from a self-righteous, self-serving wild-eyed V-Gun. Raving screeds spewing from an amino-acid-deprived, protein-starved snot brain…

…n perspective of an agoraphobic in the marketplace (agora is the Greek word for market). I’ve a field trip suggestion — be you agoraphobic or no.


Three steps:

  1. Stop by your local übermarket with a weekly grocery list in hand.
  2. Encircle each line item on the list that contains animal-based ingredients: stuffs like meat, egg, dairy, variously mechanically separated body parts. Check product labels if applicable.
  3. Take note of the contents of grocery carts in your vicinity…

and upend any cart that doesn’t meet your approval. Glare threateningly at innocent grocery shoppers — including their youngsters — and arrange a funeral pyre in accordance with Hindu-friendly ceremonies for the dearly departed…

Did you know that junk food is subsidized by the USDA? The lobbies stuffing the rear, front and suit pockets in federal, state and local government offices include small-scale outfits such as Monsanto and Tyson. A merger a year keeps the arrears away.


Did you know that the North Koreans could use a few good fools? Sounds like a place you would find less threatening.

Global warming did not trend until the Industrial Revolution started spewing spent fossil fuels into that thin bubble of air blanketing the Earth. Perhaps there is a deity who could bring around a replacement planet? There is that. I’ve heard somewhere that a reduction in meat-baseless eating could help.

Vegans are at the brunt-end of many jokes, but the jokesters seem to tread a bit nervously these days — we’re still outnumbered 33 to 1, but our numbers are not decreasing.

You need to lighten up a little, Bill. We hope these help:

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

Q: What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
A: We have to stop meating like this.

Q: Why do people kill animals?
A: Fur convenience steak.

There are more where those came from, but just remember: vegans are the joke, Bill.


The animal atop the food chain believes itself ordained to husband lesser sentient creatures to the highest bidder. All other species get to exist at the whim of human appetite and fashion. Is there anything questionable about this?

Thanks for reading.

Author: Bill Ziegler

I am a former resident of Delhi Township. These are memories of my life and times in that community during the 1950s and 1960s. A time capsule.

2 thoughts on “A Vegan in the Agora”

  1. There you go, Bill. Making me smile again. So much good stuff here.

    On the corn subsidy, did you realize that feed for non-human animals, feed for automobiles, and feed for exports (again, non-human animals) is the bulk of the pie? What’s left is the ‘junk food’ (high fructose syrups, the like) and unadulterated (think corn cobs, frozen nibs) as ‘food’ for people. Those together make up small, unappetizing slice. Makes me wonder why the government even subsidizes corn for ‘food security.’ More like FEED security.

    I still think that meat and dairy aisles are illegally marketing deceptive trade practices. If the consumer only saw the whole picture behind that gallon of milk or cut of muscle or carton of eggs. The TRUTH, not the deception, for all to see right there in the market. Hm.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your kindness, Shannon. Hope you guys are well and swell. I am going to look into that insidious corn-cycle.
      Lisa and I saw a 30 second infomercial a number of years ago that was produced for the high fructose corn syrup propaganda division. As I recall, it was set in an official looking lab and featured an official looking scientist with a pristine white coat. She compared high fructose corn syrup with regular sugar to let the audience know that “sugar is sugar.”
      Slick, convincing and reassuring techniques sell a lot of silo chaff. Taco Bell takes low-grade unappetizing highly processed glop and texturizes it to make it look like striated product coming from a single cow.

      Liked by 1 person

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