Call Me Left-Over Man

Call me Left-Over Man — Feeder of Raccoons.

We’ll call you Ishmael. Waste is the birthright of might, the backbone of a God-fearing society. Raccoons spread rabies and babies, so keep your cans closed and your trap shut, pal.

I once attended a team-building session at Procter and God: marketing lion. Spoiler alert: I am not much known as a team player. Any the way, each team member was to reveal their inner animal. I chose raccoon. Quite unsurprisedly I drew beg-to-differ comments from the tigers and bears in the room.

Are you a dumpster-thriver, Bill? A social-justice warrior? Sharing and caring leaping gnome? A cow-worshiper from India who would die before eating a cheeseburger? It’s survival of the fattest now, Bill. You lose — bigly. 

I follow a lifestyle that fits me as well as the knapsack on my back. It also suits my societal role of iconoclast and vegan (several percent of humanity, we vegans). Competitive sports lure me not, particularly the concussive world of American football. I hug trees instead.

welcome.to.the.anthropocene

To the victor go the spoils. God loves US most because our unimpeachable forefathers, originalists to the man, trusted in Him. You’re rewriting history, Bill — an imprisonable offense.

Yes, I understand that criticizing the Oval Office tweeter can land you 20 years.

Advertisers sometimes lie about their products. Advertising lingo leans on ambiguity, truth in advertising has left the building along with business ethics. Gone south, now approaching Antarctic waters.we.come.as.liberators

All’s fair in love and lotion. We brought civilization and faith to the Indians. We gave slaves a free ride to faith and civilization. 

Today I celebrate something that a counter-advertising team in Canada started promoting in 1989: Buy Nothing Day. I step back from the freneticism that troubles my spirit often enough. Borrowing a tidy phrase from Bartleby the Scrivener: I would prefer not to.

buynothingday

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

Author: Bill Ziegler

Master of Arts Degree: Germanic Languages and Literatures. Master of Arts Degree: Geography. Certified Teacher of German Language. Functional specification writer for databases Logistics Chain for Automotive Concern: Technical Specification for a Filtering System: Translated a German patent for a steel-drum facility Translated terms and conditions (Allgemeine Geschäftsbedingungen) Taught German language and culture kindergarten to advanced. Designed curricula Cincinnati Waldorf School Created programs using PL/SQL, Oracle, Unix, Visual Basic, Cleaned data for the P&G Commercial Products Group. Developed program to establish optimal vendor routes Designed IVR call-in for field agents to detect scheduling problems and determine their location. Designed programs to maintain a vendor database in an SAP application for product supply from a single pilot plant with 1,300 records to 40 plant locations with 45,000 records. Developed programs to identify specifically critical data errors and potentially duplicated records.

8 thoughts on “Call Me Left-Over Man”

  1. I must say that here in Hillbilly Hollow, the stores were open, but we weren’t in em. I have never seen such empty store parking lots and this did my heart good! I have bought nothing during any ‘holiday spending season’ for years too numerous to count.

    Thanks for a great post, Bill!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank *you* for your kind words, Shelby. “Holiday spending season” now extends to every holiday on the calendar — marketers don’t miss any opportunity to stock the widest aisle, nearest the entrance, for the “big” day coming up a month or so away. The techniques used to make the customers (marks) think that “they” are the ones doing the thinking are often subtle. They know which buttons to push and when to push them.

    Liked by 1 person

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