A Vegan in the Agora

Hello all and each 🙂 Here is yet another post on a theme of vega..

nism from a self-righteous, self-serving wild-eyed V-Gun. Raving screeds spewing from an amino-acid-deprived, protein-starved snot brain…

…n perspective of an agoraphobic in the marketplace (agora is the Greek word for market). I’ve a field trip suggestion — be you agoraphobic or no.

shopper_selecting_meat

Three steps:

  1. Stop by your local übermarket with a weekly grocery list in hand.
  2. Encircle each line item on the list that contains animal-based ingredients: stuffs like meat, egg, dairy, variously mechanically separated body parts. Check product labels if applicable.
  3. Take note of the contents of grocery carts in your vicinity…

and upend any cart that doesn’t meet your approval. Glare threateningly at innocent grocery shoppers — including their youngsters — and arrange a funeral pyre in accordance with Hindu-friendly ceremonies for the dearly departed…

Did you know that junk food is subsidized by the USDA? The lobbies stuffing the rear, front and suit pockets in federal, state and local government offices include small-scale outfits such as Monsanto and Tyson. A merger a year keeps the arrears away.


Source

Did you know that the North Koreans could use a few good fools? Sounds like a place you would find less threatening.

Global warming did not trend until the Industrial Revolution started spewing spent fossil fuels into that thin bubble of air blanketing the Earth. Perhaps there is a deity who could bring around a replacement planet? There is that. I’ve heard somewhere that a reduction in meat-baseless eating could help.

Vegans are at the brunt-end of many jokes, but the jokesters seem to tread a bit nervously these days — we’re still outnumbered 33 to 1, but our numbers are not decreasing.

You need to lighten up a little, Bill. We hope these help:

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

Q: What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
A: We have to stop meating like this.

Q: Why do people kill animals?
A: Fur convenience steak.

There are more where those came from, but just remember: vegans are the joke, Bill.

Source

The animal atop the food chain believes itself ordained to husband lesser sentient creatures to the highest bidder. All other species get to exist at the whim of human appetite and fashion. Is there anything questionable about this?

Thanks for reading.

The Green Sheep in the Family

Full disclosure first — I am the green sheep in the family: one of “those vegans” who have the temerity to speak up for “others” — more similar to us than not — who have no voice in determining their own destiny. Today I focus on the multiple billions  living in camps

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By this time next year 70 billion will have lived from birth to death in one of those facilities. Factory friendly farms.

Well there must be a good reason then.

Many reasons, but each is specious, spurious and tawdry. We deny inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to “the others.” Is that ethical behavior? Do animals volunteer their own destruction?

Bill, they outnumber us 10 to 1. So it looks like we are the ones endangered here. Do you call that fair? Let us tell you something. life isn’t fair and freedom fries aren’t free. It’s a wonder that any of us are left standing, actually. So it’s self-defense, us or them.

But can we talk about something a little less depressing?

Sorry. Let’s talk about optimal health, vibrance and well-being. In short: those habits that produce a healthy body. There are many ways to become ill: some involve luck, some are viral/bacterial, some are self-induced. I’ve tried many ill-advised styles of life.

Vegan protein icons

To quote my own father “I would rather be rich and healthy than sick and poor.”

Majority rule then. You vegans comprise 3% of the eating public. Why force bunny-salads down our throats? We are not geese. We are designed to eat meat. Some call it stewardship in a dominion over all life. What’s wrong with being top dog? Beats low dog.

3% of human eaters are vegan, 3% of human scientists deny climate-change, 3% is a good guess at the percentage of lifeforms that would survive an extinction event — asteroidal, nuclear or climatological.

Detox is tough because meat is a powerful addiction that is socially acceptable and culturally sanctioned. Secreting toxins is wearying — so is withdrawal from other addicting chemicals. We are living and breathing chemical factories, walking bags of chemicals.

Some very good news: craving for meat and meat byproducts metamorphoses into repulsion.

Why are you vegans always so negative?

We aren’t.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

November no vember

Veganism is gentle and genuine. It is a joy to join all the planet’s sentient inhabitants in sane sustained balance. Kind of the opposite of freneticism.

sustain

Veganism is also confrontational and anarchal. It is living gently with the carnivorous and the omnivorous.

But remember in November not to vember. Defined by the Urban Dictionary as an adrenaline rush, something that makes you nervous, neurotic, up-tight,etc.

In other words — an antonym for veganism

 

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BILL, tell me that you are not going to go there, where there equals a goofy-ass word like VEMBER.

Well I do like “v” words and I hadn’t heard of the word ‘vember’ before today. Anyway it fits well with this post’s title, or something.

What is sacrosanct? Answer: Norman Rockwell. Mom, pumpkin pie. It’s a warm up for Super Bowl Sunday. The day of Thanksgiving in this chunk of the world heralds an overdose of all things Rockwell. I prefer a warm hearth fire without football, Butterball hotlines and other heart-cooling and discomfiting suggestions that darken my day, so no white meat and no dark meat, s’il vous plait.

 

vegan-street-blogB  I  L  L , that’s another place we don’t want you to revisit for the 92nd time, so listen: meat means meals, meat means mom’s meals. And you don’t seem to mind sending the unemployment rate to 92% and my blood pressure to a hundred and 92. Do You!

I knew a guy who ate porcine vigorously, salivating at every tooth grind. But not before he gave a silent “thank you, kind sir” to the pig who gave its life for his palate.

Yeah, but we only “pig out” on Thanksgiving (see N. Rockwell). The following day we enjoy Black Friday and EAT MEAT at the All You Can Savage buffet, the one with the never-ending snow crab legs.

We’re always tired after Turkey Day’s  G-rated cooking. By the way, did I mention that Black Thursday means a paycheck for dad?

And you don’t mind if we have the last word, do you Bill?

wv-thanksgiving