Call Me Left-Over Man

Call me Left-Over Man — Feeder of Raccoons.

We’ll call you Ishmael. Waste is the birthright of might, the backbone of a God-fearing society. Raccoons spread rabies and babies, so keep your cans closed and your trap shut, pal.

I once attended a team-building session at Procter and God: marketing lion. Spoiler alert: I am not much known as a team player. Any the way, each team member was to reveal their inner animal. I chose raccoon. Quite unsurprisedly I drew beg-to-differ comments from the tigers and bears in the room.

Are you a dumpster-thriver, Bill? A social-justice warrior? Sharing and caring leaping gnome? A cow-worshiper from India who would die before eating a cheeseburger? It’s survival of the fattest now, Bill. You lose — bigly. 

I follow a lifestyle that fits me as well as the knapsack on my back. It also suits my societal role of iconoclast and vegan (several percent of humanity, we vegans). Competitive sports lure me not, particularly the concussive world of American football. I hug trees instead.

welcome.to.the.anthropocene

To the victor go the spoils. God loves US most because our unimpeachable forefathers, originalists to the man, trusted in Him. You’re rewriting history, Bill — an imprisonable offense.

Yes, I understand that criticizing the Oval Office tweeter can land you 20 years.

Advertisers sometimes lie about their products. Advertising lingo leans on ambiguity, truth in advertising has left the building along with business ethics. Gone south, now approaching Antarctic waters.we.come.as.liberators

All’s fair in love and lotion. We brought civilization and faith to the Indians. We gave slaves a free ride to faith and civilization. 

Today I celebrate something that a counter-advertising team in Canada started promoting in 1989: Buy Nothing Day. I step back from the freneticism that troubles my spirit often enough. Borrowing a tidy phrase from Bartleby the Scrivener: I would prefer not to.

buynothingday

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

Vegan Nuttables: Look for the Raccoon

Full disclosure assurance applies, just as it has with my Nittha Siam Kitchen review: this is an unpaid five-star rating. I like their stuff and I support them.

I found Once Again at Barney Kroger’s Grocery the other day and enjoyed the heck out of it. Recommended for a number of reasons: employee-owned, genuinely organic, label does not say

Naturally it’s flavored! Naturally it’s colored!

Their products are value-priced and feature raccoons. Bonus points: Once Again actually rescued raccoons on the premises. You can read about that on their website. Take a break now and shop for good edibles.

 

Use the Hot-Pockets-litmus-test: compare and contrast chemicals consumed. Billziegler1947 has already done the research for you. Analyses in the billziegler1947 laboratories have found that Hot Pockets do not strictly follow USDA Certified Organic guidelines.

For homework read the following before going food shopping.

 

Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.

A fun place to visit vegan videos: FullCircleVegans and here’s a bonus: it’s also a WordPress blog. They’re also on Instagram and everything else.