Talking Turkey About Climate

Let’s talk turkey…

For 245 million turkeys, a lifespan averages 4 months — 3 generations per year. A wild turkey can live up to 10 years, fly 55 miles an hour, and run 35 miles an hour.

…climate change does change everything. Adopting a vegan diet is powerful enough to slow the course, to stem a looming mega threat to the only planet we have. She has already shaken off five extinction events, a sixth won’t stop her. When climate goes rogue, the planet does not die. She’ll have to wait for the sun to extinguish under the weight of depleted helium atoms. She will still revolve around the sun and still rotate on her axis daily. The beings she nourished from Extinction Event 1 through Event 5 lived under the same star,  the Sun.

Once a rolling stone starts rolling downhill, you can’t stop it, unless:

  1. a miracle happens

OK, short list.

Humankind always abides every threat, doesn’t it? Where was humankind during the previous five extinction events? Not around, Ken Ham, of AnswersInGenesis notwithstanding. Scripture is not science.

Unpaid Political Announcement

What a terrible time to suffer a ne’er-do-well in the Oval Office. We’ve set a boulder atop Sysiphus’ boulder. Full speed aHell.

The Art of the Devil: A Memoir by D. Trump, forward by Alistair Crowley.

Become a vegan and take the single most effective step for stemming global warming. But that’s a non-starter, isn’t it?

There’s no way, man.

Get real, Bill. Who made you boss?

Yeah, I’m like, right.

My eyes roll in your general direction.

Nobody really knows.

A fable

A mythical Sysiphus rolls a mythical boulder up a mountain. Sisyphus’ twin meets his brother at the mountain’s peak. I’ll call him Sysiphus B. He accepts the boulder from Sysiphus. The twin’s task: keep the orb from rolling any farther downhill. His feet are slipping on some moss. He can’t push the boulder upwards, he can only slow its progress. Somewhere between marker 1.5 and marker 2.0, Sysiphus B has to stop the boulder, else:

#SR15

Game Over.

Replay? No replay option. We’re toast.

Editors note:

Dear Meat Eater, I used to be among the crowd you’re in with. A body gets very weary during detox. The more meat you eat, the more toxins you must excrete. I’ve had to detox from alcohol. In my experience, detox from animal cells takes longer, you get tired and feel depleted, but don’t blame a plant-based diet. Cold, dead turkey, sorry for piling my plate with your white and dark. I don’t expect an apology, cold dead turkey. I did the crime and served the time, but the animals I have consumed are still dead meat.

There is nothing great about being a mega-greedy species (the crowd I’m in with), one that drains the lifeblood of trillions of fish, billions of birds, billions of land creatures 24/7/365 (366 on leap years). It’s not a thing to be proud of. Karma presents as arterial plaque, over-burdened heart, stroke to the brain, diabetes. Statistically speaking. Who knows?

You may say I’m dreaming, but I’m not the only one.

Let’s talk some more turkey:

  • 245 million turkeys raised and killed every year in the U.S.
  • More than 46 million of them are killed each year at Thanksgiving alone,
  • more than 22 million die at Christmas.

Source

T’day is six weeks away, today is a good day to start a detox.

“We’ll see” means “never.”

Pop Quiz

Complete the following sentence: God helps those who ____ __________.

Thanks for reading.

Veganism and the Sacred Cow

Meatism is a lifestyle choice very deeply rooted in a modern society based on Freneticism. Big lies fuel bigger enterprises. Veganism threatens the BIG LIE with mere truth, but that hardly stops Meatists does it?

Chicken wearing funny vegan sign.

Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Veganist Party? 

The land of the fruited plain and the home of the Atlanta Braves® knows what’s for dinner — boeuf. This place is always open for business. American students may not be able to locate India on a world map, but they know how to form a turkey by circumscribing the human hand.  Put it on the refrigerator and talk about the two (2) turkeys who will be pardoned this November.

vicious.vegan

Believe a whopper. Eat a Whopper®.

The Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock to escape persecution (and to spread their own form of persecution). They invited savages (Native Americans) to dinner, the savages brought something hitherto unknown to Europeans — wild turkey. But the savages with red skin (just like the football team) turned on those settlers. Ungrateful beasts, behaving like animals.

Pop quiz: what is an Indian giver?

On September 1, 1914 the last Passenger Pigeon died in captivity. Unfortunately the pigeons were tasty fowl that dropped to the ground when you shot at the sky. Dress them for dinner.

Needlepoint project: “A Passenger Pigeon in every pot.” Good luck students!

The American Bison numbered thunderous thousands. Print the photograph of a mound of bison skulls for your refrigerator door.

bison.skulls.1870s
From Smithsonian.org. This is not a photoshopped image. Would that it were.

American ingenuity solved the extinction problem by creating the factory farm.

If those silly Hindus would eat the sacred cows walking and defecating in the marketplace, no one would starve in India.

Philip Morris® purchased Kraft Foods® in 1985. Both industries are in the addiction business, so it was a good marriage. Cigarette companies know much about carving out markets and expanding them. Japanese women don’t smoke? Make them customers. Chinese women don’t smoke? Make them customers.

Nestlé®owns Hot Pockets® Eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and middle-of-the-night craves.

hot_pocket

Kraft® owns Lunchables® Throw Lunchables® into your shopping cart after a frenetic day at the office. Throw them in by the fistful. You ate the Lunchables® that the kids wouldn’t eat while you were working. You didn’t break for lunch, but the lunch will probably break you.

What about the customers who become too grown up for your product? Carve a new niche that keeps ’em buying. Choosy Jif® mothers read magazine ads.

The more you waste, the greater the gross national product — by definition.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

November no vember

Veganism is gentle and genuine. It is a joy to join all the planet’s sentient inhabitants in sane sustained balance. Kind of the opposite of freneticism.

sustain

Veganism is also confrontational and anarchal. It is living gently with the carnivorous and the omnivorous.

But remember in November not to vember. Defined by the Urban Dictionary as an adrenaline rush, something that makes you nervous, neurotic, up-tight,etc.

In other words — an antonym for veganism

 

trans-fat-word-cloud-300x200

BILL, tell me that you are not going to go there, where there equals a goofy-ass word like VEMBER.

Well I do like “v” words and I hadn’t heard of the word ‘vember’ before today. Anyway it fits well with this post’s title, or something.

What is sacrosanct? Answer: Norman Rockwell. Mom, pumpkin pie. It’s a warm up for Super Bowl Sunday. The day of Thanksgiving in this chunk of the world heralds an overdose of all things Rockwell. I prefer a warm hearth fire without football, Butterball hotlines and other heart-cooling and discomfiting suggestions that darken my day, so no white meat and no dark meat, s’il vous plait.

 

vegan-street-blogB  I  L  L , that’s another place we don’t want you to revisit for the 92nd time, so listen: meat means meals, meat means mom’s meals. And you don’t seem to mind sending the unemployment rate to 92% and my blood pressure to a hundred and 92. Do You!

I knew a guy who ate porcine vigorously, salivating at every tooth grind. But not before he gave a silent “thank you, kind sir” to the pig who gave its life for his palate.

Yeah, but we only “pig out” on Thanksgiving (see N. Rockwell). The following day we enjoy Black Friday and EAT MEAT at the All You Can Savage buffet, the one with the never-ending snow crab legs.

We’re always tired after Turkey Day’s  G-rated cooking. By the way, did I mention that Black Thursday means a paycheck for dad?

And you don’t mind if we have the last word, do you Bill?

wv-thanksgiving