Veganism and the Sacred Cow

Meatism is a lifestyle choice very deeply rooted in a modern society based on Freneticism. Big lies fuel bigger enterprises. Veganism threatens the BIG LIE with mere truth, but that hardly stops Meatists does it?

Chicken wearing funny vegan sign.

Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Veganist Party? 

The land of the fruited plain and the home of the Atlanta Braves® knows what’s for dinner — boeuf. This place is always open for business. American students may not be able to locate India on a world map, but they know how to form a turkey by circumscribing the human hand.  Put it on the refrigerator and talk about the two (2) turkeys who will be pardoned this November.

vicious.vegan

Believe a whopper. Eat a Whopper®.

The Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock to escape persecution (and to spread their own form of persecution). They invited savages (Native Americans) to dinner, the savages brought something hitherto unknown to Europeans — wild turkey. But the savages with red skin (just like the football team) turned on those settlers. Ungrateful beasts, behaving like animals.

Pop quiz: what is an Indian giver?

On September 1, 1914 the last Passenger Pigeon died in captivity. Unfortunately the pigeons were tasty fowl that dropped to the ground when you shot at the sky. Dress them for dinner.

Needlepoint project: “A Passenger Pigeon in every pot.” Good luck students!

The American Bison numbered thunderous thousands. Print the photograph of a mound of bison skulls for your refrigerator door.

bison.skulls.1870s
From Smithsonian.org. This is not a photoshopped image. Would that it were.

American ingenuity solved the extinction problem by creating the factory farm.

If those silly Hindus would eat the sacred cows walking and defecating in the marketplace, no one would starve in India.

Philip Morris® purchased Kraft Foods® in 1985. Both industries are in the addiction business, so it was a good marriage. Cigarette companies know much about carving out markets and expanding them. Japanese women don’t smoke? Make them customers. Chinese women don’t smoke? Make them customers.

Nestlé®owns Hot Pockets® Eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and middle-of-the-night craves.

hot_pocket

Kraft® owns Lunchables® Throw Lunchables® into your shopping cart after a frenetic day at the office. Throw them in by the fistful. You ate the Lunchables® that the kids wouldn’t eat while you were working. You didn’t break for lunch, but the lunch will probably break you.

What about the customers who become too grown up for your product? Carve a new niche that keeps ’em buying. Choosy Jif® mothers read magazine ads.

The more you waste, the greater the gross national product — by definition.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Vegan Nuttables: Look for the Raccoon

Full disclosure assurance applies, just as it has with my Nittha Siam Kitchen review: this is an unpaid five-star rating. I like their stuff and I support them.

I found Once Again at Barney Kroger’s Grocery the other day and enjoyed the heck out of it. Recommended for a number of reasons: employee-owned, genuinely organic, label does not say

Naturally it’s flavored! Naturally it’s colored!

Their products are value-priced and feature raccoons. Bonus points: Once Again actually rescued raccoons on the premises. You can read about that on their website. Take a break now and shop for good edibles.

 

Use the Hot-Pockets-litmus-test: compare and contrast chemicals consumed. Billziegler1947 has already done the research for you. Analyses in the billziegler1947 laboratories have found that Hot Pockets do not strictly follow USDA Certified Organic guidelines.

For homework read the following before going food shopping.

 

Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.

A fun place to visit vegan videos: FullCircleVegans and here’s a bonus: it’s also a WordPress blog. They’re also on Instagram and everything else.

 

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